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Everyone’s Pain is Their Own

I was recently speaking with someone who was going through a difficult time with her family. In fact, I have had this conversation a number of times over the last few months. A parent is sick, a sibling is uncooperative, there are financial issues, health issues, work issues, you name it. In every case I've come across lately, people compare their problems to everyone else's. Some people judge others for being upset about a problem which isn't nearly as bad as their own. Some judge themselves and feel guilty for being upset when others have it much worse.

The answer to both of these are the same… Everyone’s pain is their own. People feel pain and stress relative to what is happening in their own lives. There are no rules on the appropriate level of sadness or stress. How anyone feels is how they feel and we shouldn’t judge others or ourselves for being unhappy about something.

No one has a monopoly on pain. I know one person that acts as if her pain is the worst and everyone else dare not complain. The truth is, this isn’t a competition. Just because someone else is going through something that may seem worse, it doesn’t make what you are going through any less hurtful.

The best we can do for someone going through a difficult time is to be there for them. Sometimes we can’t be there in person but we can always be supportive in other ways – through text, phone, email, etc. There are lots of ways to help someone in a moment of need.

Just don’t judge. Don’t judge yourself. Don’t judge others.

Photo Credits: Pixabay


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